I'm starting to feel more at home at my Park Host post. They are even letting me personalize my surroundings, so I've begun to add decorations. I thought I'd start with that little smiling brown fella I showed off in my January 28 post. One of my readers tells me it's a POS.
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It's here! The second Supermoon of the year happened early this morning, when the moon snuggled up to within 223,000 miles of the earth. Because it's the second full moon of the month, we can also call it a "Blue Moon" (The Marcels, 1961). But there's more! Starting just before 7:00 tomorrow morning (January 31) on the West Coast, the blue moon will turn blood red—the victim of a lunar eclipse. You can't beat that! Meanwhile, today turns out to be a good day to come in from outer space and acknowledge a few pioneers in the man-made universe known as cyberspace. Back in 1945, before the conception of digital computers, and thus almost 25 years before the Internet was born, Vannevar Bush envisioned a machine that could link documents together to mimic the way the brain stores, connects, and retrieves memories. Twenty years later, Ted Nelson elaborated on this concept in a 1965 article in which he coined the term hypertext to describe a nonlinear way of linking data. In 1989, Tim Berners-Lee spun Nelson's idea into today's World Wide Web. What makes all of this timely is that today (January 30) happens to be the birthday of the late Douglas Engelbart, a pioneer in the design of interactive computer environments. Among his achievements was the invention of the computer pointing device we now call a mouse, which he introduced along with hypertext and word processing nearly 50 years ago, in a presentation that came to be known as "The Mother of All Demos." Did you notice the hyperlinks in today's post? They're an invitation to explore and learn. They allow me to multiply my ability to share what interests me. For better or for worse. I can't stay away from the beach, even on my day off. Yesterday I got off my Park Host perch and took a break from my duties. And I flew off to the north... ...to another beach! I spent the afternoon enjoying the scene at Bullards Beach, just across the river from my home turf. And a perfect afternoon it was! A light breeze. Some sun, some clouds. Tide rolling in. And out. And in.
Every size and shape of driftwood has washed ashore at Bullards, and heavy surfs have pushed some of it over the dunes, so it now covers most of the the parking lot, as well. Just take a look at this amazing maze of roots. ↓ Big globs of sea foam also washed ashore at Bullards. Have you ever noticed how things look different from a distance? For instance, you could generalize that this section of the seashore has darker sand than the rest of the beach. Look for yourself: But a closer look reveals a field of rocks of varied colors and sizes: Bend down closer, and you can see the rich variety that appears to be sameness from farther away:
I'm inclined to agree with critics of yesterday's Freaky Clock Face Slideshow. I wouldn't say my latest slideshow totally missed the mark. But it certainly didn't score a bull's-eye, either. I suspect Russian interference. But I must take issue with those who have characterized my slideshows as pointless. With all due respect, those readers have missed the point. Let's pause to put things in context: The saga begins with the Freaky Cat Slideshow that took this blog by storm on December 10, 2017. It was simply an exercise in digital image distortion, and caused no physical harm to any real or imaginary feline. In fact, I had the impression that the cats in the photos felt flattered to have their pictures taken. I think even they knew it was all in good fun. But cat lovers are a special breed, and a rabid few of them (most likely Russians) apparently filed a complaint with the content police, who threatened to take down my masterpiece. Something about inflicting mental cruelty (on cat owners, I assume). As an artistic way of saying, "Take that, humorless fascists!" I created the innocuous—if mind-numbing--Freaky Electrical Outlet and Power Cord Slideshow, which was posted January 23rd of this year. This collection of images is so utterly banal that it doesn't seem to have triggered even the most sensitive electrician or utility worker, let alone the basement-dwellers who scrutinize everyone's blogs and tweets and retweets for any deviation from cat-worship orthodoxy. You can find conventional wisdom everywhere else on the internet; balancing act seeks to distinguish itself from all the others out there, even if that sometimes requires being a bit imbalanced. Yesterday's post was intended to drive that point home.
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I'm pleased to note that so far nobody's complained about my Freaky Electrical Outlet and Power Cord Slideshow that debuted a few days ago. Nobody's gone out of their way to compliment me on it either. But that won't stop me from occasionally posting more world premiere slideshows. And today is one of those occasions. You see, my head is full of ideas. But my stomach is empty. Let me take a closer look at your lunch, while you feast your eyes on my latest artistic concoction... ANOTHER BLOGOSPHERE FIRST: A FREAKY CLOCK FACE SLIDESHOW! This is the "future post" I promised yesterday. For this Fun Fact Friday, let's take a brief look at a famous seagull legend. Could it be fact, or is it merely folklore inspired by an underlying foundation of truth? In Salt Lake City's Temple Square stands a monument to the state bird, oddly named the California Gull. Thousands of these particular gulls are said to have swarmed into the fields of the Great Basin at the very moment that armies of crawling crickets were about to consume all of 1848's crops. Was this Utah's miracle or Utah's mythology?
For the Mormon settlers, the seagulls were saviors. For the seagulls, it was instant breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert for a few days. Of course, we'll take the golden statue as a bonus. And the Salt Lake Gulls baseball club, too. P.S. You are welcome to suggest a topic for the next Fun Fact Friday. Just click the Comments link in the top right corner of this blog post. References (because I didn't just make this up): www.mrm.org/seagulls mentalfloss.com/article/29551/why-utah-loves-seagulls-not-crickets en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miracle_of_the_gulls holyfetch.com/the-miracle-of-the-seagulls/ www.mormonthink.com/glossary/seagullmiracle.htm onlinelibrary.utah.gov/research/utah_symbols/bird.html I have been in such good spirits this year that I have been avoiding the long-overdue Seagull Hate Report I promised after the holidays. And here's one of the reasons I'm feeling so positive lately: Humans are starting to recognize seagulls for our grace, our stamina, and our competitive spirit.
Sorry if you tuned in expecting The Seagull Hate Report.
Just try to put your outrage on hold. There's a time for everything. (The Byrds, 1965) ![]()
#MoreCrackersPlease
For just a moment, I need to step back from current events to deal with something of an ongoing nature. You may recall that in spite of my being just a lovable, shy, unassuming but unflappable, live-and-let-live kinda gull, I became the focal point of some controversy last month when I attempted to occupy an unclaimed corner of the blogosphere with a post that featured an unconventional special attraction, my exclusive FREAKY CAT SLIDESHOW. Instead of generating the anticipated mountains of praise and howls of laughter, my masterful photographic exhibition was met with scowls of derision, hateful counter-posts, and calls for censure. Fortunately, I have been able to keep the metaphorical jackals at bay with threats of litigation, and my FREAKY CAT SLIDESHOW hasn't been taken down yet. However, I have become aware that my blog may be a victim of shadow banning. Maybe even seagull shaming. So please let me know if you are able to read this post, and if you can successfully follow the links that take you to my original FREAKY CAT SLIDESHOW. Meanwhile, I dare anyone anywhere to take offense at my latest creation... THE WORLD'S FIRST AND ONLY KNOWN FREAKY ELECTRICAL OUTLET AND POWER CORD SLIDESHOW It's a work of art, if I do say so myself. Don't you agree?
Up next, the world's first Freaky Clock Face Slideshow. Watch this space. Referring to yesterday's post, I really can't say what's in the memo (because I really don't know). I'm not even sure who wrote the memo. And now I've been told not to mention the memo again. (I think there was an unspoken "or else..." associated with that particular request.) I'm sure some of you are beginning to think I'm a conspiracy nut. Nut, yes. Conspiracy nut, no. I'm just a lovable but cautious, moderate and unremarkable, button-down seagully kinda guy. If I were only a left-winger or only a right-winger, I would fall out of the sky every time I tried to fly. If anything, I'm a skeptic. I only believe what I can swallow whole—which, come to think of it, is practically anything short of a grey whale. And apparently this is one whale of a memo! Ooooooops! I accidentally mentioned the you-know-what again. I just might have to start encrypting my blog posts. Maybe like this: Yes, I finally got an H ! SCORE! And you can tell they're made with REAL Cheese because they leave really oily footprints on paper bags. Or could that be a message of some kind?
To be continued. There I was, just doing my job. Picking up remnants of last night's beach party. Keeping it clean. There was a pretty strong wind coming out of the southwest, and I had to fly after a loose napkin that was being blown down the beach. When I caught up with it, I was out of breath. No, scratch that. I hardly broke a sweat.
Clutching the napkin in my bill, I flew all the way to the nearest congressional office, only to find it was closed. That long flight has delayed the publishing of my post today. But it's better late than never.
I am hoping one of you knows what this message means, and what's best to do with it, before it's too late. For all we know, the survival of the country may depend on it. Thanks for caring! Some busybody at some shadowy self-appointed watchdog organization stumbled onto my freaky cat slideshow. They say it's a cat-hate violation, and they want me to take it down. If I don't, they'll probably force my website host to replace my slideshow with a semi-literate message like this one I saw recently: Why isn't there a "Not OK" button? Where's my freedom of choice? Whatever happened to freedom of speech? Whatever happened to the English language? What did you bring me for lunch? So many questions. P.S. I finally opened a fresh box of Scrabble® Junior Cheez-It®. Not that the stale ones were that bad. In fact, I occasionally enjoy them when they've been soaked in salty sea mist. But that's just me.
A couple of you are starting to get the concept of Fun Fact Friday. It's an audience participation learning experience. So "RT in Myrtle Point" got ahead of the learning curve by submitting this question: I have noticed, Geo, that you and other seagulls sometimes stand on one leg. Why do you do this? I don't pretend to speak for the other gulls, but I do it because it looks so cool. Especially when I'm standing on top of the Park Host sign. About a dozen years ago, readers of the Sydney Morning Herald offered their answers to an equivalent to RT's question. But I wasn't satisfied with what they had to say.
Now, I don't particularly mind that it's cold and wet out here on the coast. It's kinda refreshing.
But there is a downside to being exposed to the elements this time of year—my smart phone's touch screen won't respond when I tap it with my cold, wet beak. The touch ID feature can't detect my footprint. And Siri doesn't seem to recognize my squawking as a voice command. Keep those stimulating questions coming. To submit yours, just click Comments in the top right corner of this post. I'm going to stand on one leg until the next question comes in. "What day is it?" asked Pooh. "It's today," squeaked Piglet. "My favorite day," said Pooh. Yesterday's post paid tribute to one of America's founders, Benjamin Franklin, on his 312th birthday. Though never a president, Franklin still was given the honor of having his portrait on the $100 bill. I really wanted to give each of you one of those, but I didn't even have a $1 bill in my wallet. Okay, you're right—I don't even have a wallet. However, I found a picture of a $100 bill on the Web. While I was there—on the Web, that is—I read dozens and dozens of Franklin quotations and sayings. Unable to find one that made any reference to seagulls, I settled for a pretty good quotation to go along with Ben's portrait, and I went ahead and published the post yesterday. P.S. Happy Birthday, Baron of Montesquieu—French political philosopher and champion of liberty who inspired America's founders (1689-1755).
P.P.S. (or is it P.S.S.?) Come back tomorrow for Fun Fact Friday #2! 1706-1790 A great American. ![]() “The doorstep to the temple of wisdom is a knowledge of our own ignorance.” I have not dropped my campaign against seagull hate; I've just taken a hiatus. It's not easy to work full-time and still keep up with everything going on in the world. And seagulls are suffering all over the world, because we live practically everywhere.
But I do manage to stay in touch by listening to squawk radio shows, and occasionally talk radio shows as well. To stay balanced, I tuck my smart phone under my left wing for a while. Then I switch it to my right wing. My overall philosophy is not to question anyone's politics if they are giving me free food. I'm not a single-issue bird, either. For example, I also happen to be especially passionate about global climate change, and I heard an intriguing theory on Bill Meyer's show out of Medford last week. It was thought-provoking and scientifically sound, so I hope you'll take the time to listen to at least part of the interview. Now, I would gladly take personal responsibility for rising ocean levels and the warming of the planet. More ocean... more warmth... Sounds delightful! And I firmly believe gulls must have had some influence over the earth’s climate, because we've survived so many periods of warming and cooling over the past 30 million years. But the guest on this particular show did present solid factual evidence that the planet itself is responsible. To coin a phrase: It’s the volcanism, stupid! (or vulcanism, if that's your preference) For variety's sake, I've also been listening to broadcasts of soccer games lately. I love it when the announcer shouts, "GULL!" P.S. Happy Birthday, Howie Carr! Thanks to everyone for the great feedback on Fun Fact Friday #1. Some of you expressed concern that I might be worried about my own life expectancy. What, me worry? Some of you also offered words of encouragement, like Spock's Vulcan salute—"Live Long and Prosper." I have my own versions... But I was puzzled by these words of encouragement: But I'm not troubled by having a relatively short lifespan. It really does have its advantages.
For instance, it's tough for anyone to accuse me of something illegal, immoral, or indefensible that I might have committed 20 or 30 years ago, because I wasn't even born yet! So I say, "Live like there's no tomorrow!" Hey, this is only a test anyway. (The Grass Roots, 1967) This year, Martin Luther King Day actually falls on the Reverend Dr. King's real birthday.
Dr. King was a Christian minister who preached gospel-based ideals of love overcoming hate, and brotherhood and harmony replacing the superficial divisions of class and skin color. Admittedly, I am not a member of the "human race." But I am an observer and thinker. So please allow me to offer a few thoughts and observations that could just as well be written on any other day. Those who reflexively and mindlessly shout "racist" and "hater" today at fellow Americans are not likely to have experienced anything comparable to Dr. King and his contemporaries, and through their bitterness and animosity toward others with whom they disagree, they are pushing America in a direction exactly opposite the path he encouraged everyone to follow. On this occasion, I'd like to play disc jockey and offer some musical inspiration. Ebony and Ivory—Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder Black or White—Michael Jackson Every Kinda People—Robert Palmer Everyday People—Sly and the Family Stone By the way—and by way of cliché—some of my best friends are ravens. To be more accurate, as fellow scavengers we're friendly rivals.
It turns out these Geos were sold by GM from 1989 to 1997 (before it became Government Motors). That was slightly before my time.
In yesterday's post, I casually alluded to the average life expectancy of a gull, under the assumption that the reader would already have that knowledge. Later, I realized that even I didn't know how long we gulls are expected to live, so I had to do some research.
Thus begins a new weekly feature here at the balancing act blog: Fun Fact Friday! According to Howlongdolive.com (Yikes! That's really their name!) and Reference.com, seagulls can expect to live 20 years or more. Unfortunately, many of us disappoint by falling victim to predators, bad food, food fights, tsunamis, or in-flight collisions, and we don't make it out of the single digits. There is also some disagreement among the so-called experts. After an internal debate, Answers.com winds up with two answers: either it's 5 to 15 years, or maybe it's 7 to 10 years. Onekindplanet.org estimates 10 to 15 years. My own age? Well, the usual reason people ask me my age is because they want to tell me to act my age. The trouble is, I don't exactly know how old I am. Okay, to be more precise, I should say I refuse to accept how old I am. I daresay most of you wouldn't know the difference between a 20-year-old old gull and a two-year-old anyway. We look pretty much the same from the time we leave the nest to the time we vanish into the golden Pacific sunset. And it's been that way for at least 30 million years. I'd say we've met and exceeded anyone's lifespan expectations. Now...what's in your lunch? I have been reminded that my long-lost brother Notaleo is also a park host. So is my half-brother Hafaleo, also known as Hafavirgo. (He was born on the cusp.)
Unfortunately, I have to limit that offer temporarily. There are plenty of Xs and Qs and Zs in my current box of Cheez-Its, but I cannot find a single H. So if there's an H in your name, I can supply you with a new, H-less name, or you'll need to wait until I open a new box. Of course, that means Hafaleo/Hafavirgo is out of luck, too. ![]() Not a single H in the whole box! :~( I've had a busy day fulfilling my duties as Park Host. I do have to spend long hours atop the Park Host sign. But that's so I can readily be identified by passersby as an authority figure, in case they need my assistance. I like to think that my dignified presence on the signpost fills beach-goers with a sense of security, whether they're rock-hounding, boogie-boarding, kite-flying, photo-shooting, surf-fishing, dog-walking, bird-watching, sandcastle-making, or sunset-viewing.
I love being helpful. That's why I'm here. That and the benefits—free food.
My apologies. I was so excited about starting my new job as Park Host yesterday that I failed to tell you about some of the many challenging responsibilities that come with my position. On top of that, my editor scolded me for neglecting to use numbered lists lately. So here's a numbered sampling of my Park Host duties:
Incidentally, my copy editor also doubles as audio/video editor, and he has enhanced the quality of the video snippet in this past Sunday's blog post. As usual, it's highly recommended that you follow every link you encounter here.
In my December 29, 2017 post, I talked about practicing my James Brown dance moves on the beach.
Since nobody seems to have taken me seriously, I offer this video snippet as evidence of my veracity. It's very short, so you'll have to play it repeatedly to really get a feel for my terpsichorean skills. Pay close attention to my fancy footwork. And please check back with me tomorrow, to find out if I get a job. (The Silhouettes, 1957) |
Meet the AuthorHi. I'm Geo the Seagull.
I'm the distinguished Park Host on South Jetty Beach at Bandon, Oregon, USA. I'm a firm believer in First Principles: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Your Lunch. Archives
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