This week's question comes from G.W. of Hood River, Oregon: "Geo, would you please tell us what you think of smart meters?" Not much, G.W., not much. In fact, I don't trust anything that has smart in its name. Smart car, smart home, smart phone, smart watch, smart tv, smart money, smart breakfast cereal, Maxwell Smart... Smarties... To me, if you have to say you're smart, you're probably not. Now, about smart meters in particular: Some people think they're the greatest. Namely, public utility companies and government regulators. Some folks are passionately opposed to them. They fear unhealthy microwave radiation. Or they oppose the intrusive mining of personal power usage data. Or they object to coercive confiscatory fees levied against those who choose not to participate in Smart Meter programs. If you ask me—and G.W. did just that—Smart Meters are just another example of busybody technology. But I'll let you decide for yourself. So, here's a list of hot links covering the pros and cons and cons and cons and more cons of Smart Meters:
That should keep you busy for a while. As for me—I don't need a Smart Meter. I get all the energy I need for free—from the wind, from ocean waves, in dumpsters and landfills, out of the mouths of pelicans or the nets of fishermen, and from the charity of people who toss food from their cars or from their beach chairs. It's all renewable, and the Public Utilities Commission hasn't figured out how to control it. Yet.
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This week, G.M. of Liberty, Maine, asks: "Geo, can you please let us hear more from your musician friends, the Four Rs?" Let's hear it for the Mainers! That makes two straight weeks of questions from Down East. You Mainiacs are the best! It's understandable that everyone from Down East to the Far West wants to hear more from the Four Rs. These players are noted for their versatility and their audacity. They are unbelievable in every sense of the word. Our microphones were able to capture the Four Rs in a recent warmup session. The resulting track is called "Babbly Bop Jam." It's a tour de force that shows off their instrumental virtuosity and imagination. So click the link below, slip into your earbuds, kick back, close your eyes, and enjoy the Four Rs—Rusty, Rock, Rudy, and Rip—in full-spectrum stereophonic splendor.
Fun Fact Fridays are just for you, the balancing act reader. Click the Comments link above to submit your question on any subject for Geo. Always say please, please. For this week's special prime number edition of Fun Fact Friday, I will answer not one, but two reader questions. P.L. of Westbrook, Maine has contributed the first question: "Geo, please tell us why you never give credit to the musicians on your recorded song/poems." Well, P.L., the main reason is I don't want to embarrass them. But, thanks to your question, I have received permission to tell you who provides the amazing backup music on my recordings. Collectively, they are known as the Four Rs: Most prominently featured is the backbone of the band—guitarist Rusty Skillet. Laying down the beats is our percussionist extraordinaire--Rock Harder. Blowing a mean harmonica and sometimes caught whistling—Rudy Tooter. And pulling it all together with special effects and audio processing trickery—Rip Trousers. Now for the second question, here's what J.L. of Fargo, North Dakota asks: "Please explain, Geo, why are your poems and songs so short?" That's easy. I have the attention span of a seagull. That's why. If you have a question for Geo, that's what Fun Fact Fridays are all about. Submit your question by clicking the Comments link above. And remember to say, "Please." For the 30th edition of Fun Fact Friday, here's a question from M.S., of San Diego, CA. "Geo, I have noticed you have a red spot on the lower part of your otherwise yellow beak. Is it lipstick? Please explain."
When it comes to red spots on the lower mandibles of adult gulls, studies have shown that size matters. Seagull babies seem to be attracted to the bigger red dots. And no other colored dots will do. I'll have you know that is not lipstick on my beak. It's FD&C Red No. 40. ...which is a prime number, and that makes it one of my favorites. Here's another number for you—250. That's how many daily balancing act posts I have made through yesterday. Which makes today's post number 251—also a prime. Now for this week's Fun Fact Friday question, submitted by B.M. of Medford, Oregon: "I mean no offense, Geo, but all seagulls look the same to me. I see two kinds. They are either brownish gray or they are white and gray like you. Please tell us, do all humans look alike to you?" First of all, the darker colored gulls are our young ones. Those of us who survive to at least three or four years of age earn the more handsome outfit that I am wearing. As for what I see when I look at humans, let me first refer you to Fun Fact Friday #10, where I discuss my exceptional eyesight. That is one of the qualities that landed me the Park Host position at South Jetty Beach. I don't miss much. When it comes to humans, I'm not so good with names, but I remember faces and attitudes. I'm good at telling friend from foe. Mostly I keep my distance as far as humans are concerned. And if they don't keep their distance from me, I take a snapshot in my photographic memory as I dance away and take flight. So I will know them if I ever see them again. And please read this article from Bay Nature magazine for a more detailed answer to today's question, from a human's perspective. This week's question comes from T.J. of Shadwell, Virginia, who asks: "Please tell us, Geo, since English is not your native language, how did you learn to write so beautifully?" T.J., you flatter me. And I deserve it. Ever since I first poked around in the nearest trash can, I have found tasty morsels of food in boxes or bags or bottles or cans that have markings known as words on them. At an early age, I became fascinated with the meaning of those words. Humans underestimate the mental prowess we seagulls possess. We can learn and we can retain and apply what we learn. Over time, I have developed a massive English vocabulary, and not only can I spell every word correctly, I can use every word correctly. And I can recognize misspelled words and incorrectly used words and phrases. I daresay I am at least as good with my English as most of you are with yours. And I haven't given up on getting my writings printed by a reputable publishing company. Here's an example of the educational material I encounter in the garbage every day: If it has to do with food, I learn even faster. And, incidentally, I always do say thank you for the food, just as I always ask for more. Maybe it's time for you to ask Geo a question he can respond to in next week's Fun Fact Friday episode. Just click the Comments link above. Be sure to say "please." RMT of Myrtle Point, Oregon, has submitted this question:
"Geo, would you please stop singing and explain what seagulls are saying when they make those non-English sounds we usually hear." First of all, RMT, I commend you for following the rules and saying "please" when you ask me a question. If you've ever met me, you know I cherish good manners. Unfortunately, on the advice of counsel, I am not allowed to give a straight answer to your question. Additionally, I am on my way out of town for a day, and cannot stop to provide more detailed information. However, please accept this consolation prize: I have previously discussed the language of seagulls in Fun Fact Friday #15. I hope you will follow the link I just provided, and see what you can learn from that episode. For good measure, here's another link to a blog that offers a human interpretation of seagull speech, complete with recordings that might help you match what you've been hearing with the descriptions given by so-called bird lovers. But I am bound to silence regarding what I really know about what seagulls have to say when they squawk or squeak. Sorry. From D.B. in Redway, California comes this question: "Geo, I read somewhere online that seagull flatulence is a major cause of global warming. Please tell me, can this be true?" Well, D.B., you must not believe everything you read on the internet (including this blog). Besides, there is disagreement among humans as to whether or not seagulls do emit gas. Nobody seems to know for sure, because we gulls are so discreet about it (discrete, too). And I am unwilling to clear the air by saying one way or the other. Nonetheless, some humans are incapable of appreciating the spirit of generosity behind our sharing of sacrificial excrement. As evidence, I link you to this hate-filled poem. Talk about someone who needs a cold shower! So there. That was easy. Remember to say "please" when you click the Comments link above and submit your question that could either be answered or avoided by Geo in next week's Fun Fact Friday.
This week's question comes from the welcome screen in Windows 10 Home: And the answer is... Well, yes…and no. Due to the fact that dinosaurs didn't know how to write, type, or make audio/video recordings, we only know as much about them as their fossilized remains can tell us. And some of the remains of certain types of dinosaurs show that they could have been either feathered or maybe bristled. Not necessarily winged and capable of flight. But perhaps covered in decorative fluffy feathers. Or wearing capes or crests of feather-like stuff.
Also note that in the course of one or two seagull generations, or the equivalent of a single human generation, scientific understanding of the characteristics of dinosaurs has evolved just as much as scientists seem to think dinosaurs evolved over millions of years.
So much for "settled science," huh? Looks like you survived the summer solstice. V.D.H. of Selma, California provides this week's Fun Fact Friday question: "Geo, I have trouble remembering to check your blog regularly, even though I know you are a dedicated blogger who works hard to post something new and fresh and exceptional every single day. Please tell me if there is a way I can receive a daily copy of your latest post without having to work at it, so I can stay current without having to scroll back through eight or ten posts to find out what I've been missing."
If you have a question for Geo, you should submit it right away. Just click the Comments link near the top of this page. Geo's answer to your question could be the subject of next week's Fun Fact Friday episode. Don't forget to say, "Please." This week's Fun Fact Friday breaks the chain of episodes on the topic of gull wing designs. That's because I have received a timely question from J.B. of Bandon, Oregon, who asks, "Geo, please tell me what these transparent oval things are that recently washed ashore near Face Rock. There are thousands of them. Some have a flap of blue. Others are totally clear. They are small and flat, and they are starting to smell bad. I was afraid to touch them.
Wouldn't it be a thrill to have Geo answer your question in a Fun Fact Friday blog post?
All you have to do is click Comment at the top of this page and submit your question. Don't forget to say, "Please."
Note:
One of these days, there will be a new topic for a Fun Fact Friday episode, and Geo might even lower his standards and pick your question as that topic. So keep trying. Just click the Comments link at the top of this page and submit your question. As always, remember to say, "Please."
Fun Fact Fridays usually feature questions from balancing act readers.
To submit your question for Geo, just click the Comments link at the top of this page. And be sure to say, "Please." That's it. That's the answer to yesterday's word puzzle. And it's the topic of this week's Fun Fact Friday post, which is actually a continuation of last week's answer to a reader's question about gull wings. Last week, we were introduced to gull-wing car doors, which lift upward instead of sideways, looking like wings when opened. This week, we'll take a quick look at the kind of gull wing that Merriam-Webster defines as "an airplane wing slanting upward from the fuselage for a short distance and then leveling out."
You could be the next reader to have Geo answer your question on Fun Fact Friday. Just click the Comments link at the top of this page. And don't forget to say "Please."
It's time for a balancing act word puzzle. Unscramble these words, and you'll know the topic of tomorrow's episode of Fun Fact Friday. Come back tomorrow for the solution to today's puzzle.
And if you happen to be in the Seattle area this weekend, head across Puget Sound for Port Orchard's 30th Annual Seagull Calling Festival. More about that coming up in Saturday's balancing act post.
Here's this week's Fun Fact Friday question, contributed by D.D.E. of Abilene, Kansas: "A few days ago, you said someday you'd tell us about wartime heroics of seagulls. As a military history buff, this piqued my curiosity. Can today be that someday, and can you please tell us more, Geo?" First of all, D.D.E., thank you for actually reading every word of this past Tuesday's post, and I'm glad to make your day today. To broaden the topic slightly, I'll give you a few examples of how seagulls have made a contribution in wartime and peacetime defense, in today's world as well as in past world wars.
Wanna have Geo answer your question in the next Fun Fact Friday? Simply click the Comments link in the top right corner of today's post, and remember to say "please!"
Melanin is a natural pigment found in animals; it occurs in mammals, birds, reptiles, and other organisms. However, melanin isn't just about color. Melanin can also strengthen. The melanin in the wingtips of a bird helps to protect the feathers from wear and tear. And it also makes them black. And all this time, I was thinking those black wingtips made us look cool and sophisticated... Now, as a result of this week's reader question, it looks like we've uncovered a lot of fascinating information about gull wings—the stuff future blog posts are made of. Watch this spot! You, too, could have your question featured in an upcoming edition of Fun Fact Friday. Click Comments in the top right corner of this page, and don't forget to say "please!"
This week, I'm taking a question from C.A. of Grand Forks, North Dakota, who asks: "Geo, I remember an 80s techno-pop band called A Flock of Seagulls*. Please tell me if it is appropriate to call a gathering of seagulls a flock."
* The musical link is "I Ran (So Far Away)" from 1982. If you'd like to be the next person to have Geo answer your Fun Fact Friday question, click Comments in the top right corner of this page. Keep in mind that you must say "please" if you really expect Geo to answer your question. From Leesburg, Virginia, M.L. submits this question: "Geo, please tell me, why do you squawk so much?" The answer is: I squawk so much because I love the sound of my own voice. And you correctly observe that I do a lot of squawking. It's one of my favorite pastimes. I may squawk a lot, but I try hard not to curse. Oh, occasionally I might become really, really frustrated. That's when I've been heard to exclaim, "Gull darn it!"
Because I am bilingual, I refer to my native language as Squawklish. To communicate with you, I can write in English. But due to anatomical limitations, I can only speak in Squawklish. Sorry, no poem today. I'll squawk to you again tomorrow. If you'd like Geo to answer your Fun Fact Friday question, click Comments in the top right corner of this page.
You must say "please" if you really expect Geo to answer your question. Again we reach into the proverbial mailbag for a Fun Fact Friday question. (However, I have been unable to find any proverb on the subject of mailbags.) This week's question was submitted by D.B. from Jupiter, Florida, and it's appropriate for Friday the 13th: "Geo, please tell me, do you have any superstitions?" The answer is easy. No, I do not. Now, can I go home for the weekend? I do have to admit, if Fun Fact Friday #13 had coincidentally landed on today's date, I might have hedged a little in my answer. However, I am neither a friggatriskaidekaphobe nor a paraskevidekatriaphobe. I do not let the calendar dictate how I live. I am more concerned about where and when I'll find my next meal. By the way, did you leave a few French fries for me? Some Cheez-Its, maybe?
To submit your potential Fun Fact Friday question for Geo, just click or tap the Comments link in the top right corner of this post.
Be sure to say "please" if you really expect Geo to answer your question. S.T. from French Lick, Indiana—this is your lucky day! Your question gets the spotlight in this special thirteenth edition of Fun Fact Friday! Here's S.T.'s question: "Geo, please tell us—how do you find all this interesting stuff for your blog?" I'll try to answer without giving too much away. The way it usually works is that I get ideas. And then I get the urge to turn those ideas into words and digitize them. But I need facts and pictures and sounds to fulfill my readers' great expectations of a consistently entertaining and educational experience.
To submit your potential Fun Fact Friday question for Geo, just click or tap the Comments link in the top right corner of this post.
Be sure to say "please" if you really expect Geo to answer your question. This week's Fun Fact Friday question was submitted by T.H. of Tukwila, Washington. "Please, Geo, can you explain how there never seems to be a shortage of seagulls?" To answer this question, I had to read between the lines. Which I am perfectly capable of doing, thanks to my exclusive enhanced seagull analytic powers. Seems to me T.H. is asking me to explain about the birds and the bees. Except we can leave the bees out of this story.
The same story is repeated year after year, starring the same pair of seagulls. We gulls, you see, are mainly monogamous, and couples tend to stay together through thick and thin, as Mrs. Seagull and I have done. In fact, seagulls who stray from their mate or file for divorce are often ostracized within their colony. They become the object of incessant squawking. Squakracized, you might say. Let's just say we seagulls came up with a successful formula a long time ago, and we've been perfecting it for something like thirty million years. We're not going away any time soon. Sources for this edition of Fun Fact Friday include... animalwhoop.com allaboutbirds.org rspb.org.uk To submit your potential Fun Fact Friday question for Geo, just click the Comments link in the top right corner of this post. Be sure to say "please" if you really want Geo to answer your question.
This week, I'm answering a question sent to me from Powell, Wyoming, by L.C., who asks, "Please, Geo, tell me how do you quench your thirst when you only have salt water all around you?" The simple answer, L.C., is that I drink it.
If you get close enough to me to see something wet trickling down my beak, chances are I'm not suffering from a head cold. I'm just expelling an excess saline solution, and in the process I may shake and snort as if sneezing. This time of year, our abundant Oregon Coast rainfall provides plenty of puddles and streams with fine salt-free water for seagulls to dip our beaks in and take a bath. But we're equally at home miles away from shore, splashing and sipping in the great Pacific Ocean waters. You can learn more about seagull drinking habits here and here, along with formal research documents here, and an elegantly simple illustration here. To submit your potential Fun Fact Friday question for Geo, just click on the Comments link in the top right corner of this post. Be sure to say "please" when you ask Geo to answer your question.
This week's question comes from M.G. in Goldendale, Washington, who asks, "Please tell me, what color are your eyes, Geo? And how good is your eyesight?"
Unlike most other birds, my eyes can move in their sockets, so I have a wide range of vision. And just like humans, the "cones" in my eyes are sensitive to red, green, and blue light. But I also have cones that respond to infrared light, so I can see an additional range of colors. Most likely you humans have a hard time telling male gulls from females, but with our extra infrared vision, we gulls can see the difference right away.
To submit your potential Fun Fact Friday question for Geo, just click on the Comments link in the top right corner of this post. Be sure to say "please" when you ask Geo to answer your question. |
Meet the AuthorHi. I'm Geo the Seagull.
I'm the distinguished Park Host on South Jetty Beach at Bandon, Oregon, USA. I'm a firm believer in First Principles: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Your Lunch. Archives
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