One of these things is not like the others... Of course you chose the correct answer—B for Bird Control. Since I live in a special part of the world where seagulls are admired, cherished, honored, and photographed in soft focus, I sometimes forget the harsh treatment and officially sanctioned cruelty and persecution that is everyday reality for seagulls in many disparate corners of the world. But my readers occasionally snap me out of my reverie by sending me links to hate-filled individuals and institutions that remind me there is still much work to be done to rid the planet of rampant anti-seagullism.
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Some scientists also believe birds were lizards before they evolved into birds.
Some scientists are more gullible than others. We birds typically have versatile sharp pointed beaks for pecking, snatching, and chomping. And we have long, rough, boney tongues and Velcro-like lining inside our mouths, with fleshy things that work like car wash scrubbers to help us hold on to what our beaks collect, and to easily swallow our food whole. Not a single tooth—but we can work around that. We never need to worry if our insurance will cover the cost of a root canal. No teeth. No roots. No dental bills. Life is great when you're a gull! This week, I'm answering a question sent to me from Powell, Wyoming, by L.C., who asks, "Please, Geo, tell me how do you quench your thirst when you only have salt water all around you?" The simple answer, L.C., is that I drink it.
If you get close enough to me to see something wet trickling down my beak, chances are I'm not suffering from a head cold. I'm just expelling an excess saline solution, and in the process I may shake and snort as if sneezing. This time of year, our abundant Oregon Coast rainfall provides plenty of puddles and streams with fine salt-free water for seagulls to dip our beaks in and take a bath. But we're equally at home miles away from shore, splashing and sipping in the great Pacific Ocean waters. You can learn more about seagull drinking habits here and here, along with formal research documents here, and an elegantly simple illustration here. To submit your potential Fun Fact Friday question for Geo, just click on the Comments link in the top right corner of this post. Be sure to say "please" when you ask Geo to answer your question.
Please believe me (Well, I guess you already do, or else why would you be reading this?) Let me start again. Honestly, I have no intention of taking this blog into the proverbial toilet. It is not my goal to turn the subject matter here into "all-poop-all-the-time." Wall-to-wall poop is not my mission. But such is not the case for some of you, who have seized on the issue of seagull poop out of concern that I haven't gone far enough in mining this rich topical vein. Thank you—I guess—for taking matters into your own hands and doing some independent investigative work that I am forced to acknowledge now.
We gulls are known to gather as a squadron of the willing when a predator threatens our colony. In attack mode, we conduct a coordinated but messy bombing run to drive away the intruder.
If you venture too close to our nesting spot, you could become the target of one of our mass splat-attacks. Now, can we please change the subject? This time, it's a follow-up to a follow-up. In Friday's post, I responded to one reader's need to know exactly what I enjoy eating. Soon thereafter, I received a message from another reader who wondered, "What about the stuff seagulls eat that they shouldn't be eating?" I figured there was a not-so-hidden agenda behind this loaded question. After all, it could have been submitted by a Russian agent, trying to instigate inter-species conflict. Then I reflected on how important each of you is to me. I do have such inquisitive, astute, and perceptive readers. Or is it just that some of you spend too much time watching YouTube videos? Then, perhaps you've seen the one where the first seagull on the scene manages to open a plastic bag it has found, and is happily digging bits of leftovers out of it, when along comes another gull who tries to share in the bounty. But gull number one snatches the bag and drags it away. And in an effort to keep its treasure from reaching beak number two, the first gull keeps chomping and swallowing until it has stomached the entire plastic bag, along with whatever meager residue of food remains. While this video afflicts most humans with pangs of guilt and waves of nausea, I have a different reaction. To me, this is evolution at work. If these numbskull gulls can't figure out that there's no food value in plastic, aluminum, rubber, glass, styrofoam, and so on, then natural selection will leave them behind.
Humans never seem to stop looking for a reason to celebrate. I'm pretty much okay with that, as long as they don't leave their litter behind on the beach. But this time the celebrating humans in Bandon have gone over the edge as far as I'm concerned. Tomorrow through Sunday, they are having something called the Gorse Blossom Festival. Of all the things to celebrate—gorse! Yes, it does rhyme with horse.
Once I had to make an emergency landing in a thicket of gorse. Believe me, I lost a few prize plumes trying to escape their clutches.
Apparently they love their gorse in Ireland. I suppose they swill a few pints of Guinness and don't seem to notice they're stumbling around in the gorse. When they come to, their limbs full of holes like Swiss cheese, they probably pen some annoying poem glorifying the greatness of gorse. I wish they had kept it to themselves. Speaking of alcoholic beverages, that seems to be the main reason the Bandon town gentry are gathering in the name of gorse. Either last year's event was a big hit, or else they didn't get the hint, because 2018 is the second year they've turned all festive at the sight of blooming gorse. If you're looking for an excuse to celebrate this Presidents' Day weekend—beyond paying respects to Washington, Lincoln, et al—then you won't find a better place than Bandon, no matter the occasion. Be sure to look for me, on or near the Park Host sign at the beach, and say "Hi, Geo. Here's my lunch. Help yourself!" You'll be my best friend. For a few seconds. This is the "future post" I promised yesterday. For this Fun Fact Friday, let's take a brief look at a famous seagull legend. Could it be fact, or is it merely folklore inspired by an underlying foundation of truth? In Salt Lake City's Temple Square stands a monument to the state bird, oddly named the California Gull. Thousands of these particular gulls are said to have swarmed into the fields of the Great Basin at the very moment that armies of crawling crickets were about to consume all of 1848's crops. Was this Utah's miracle or Utah's mythology?
For the Mormon settlers, the seagulls were saviors. For the seagulls, it was instant breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert for a few days. Of course, we'll take the golden statue as a bonus. And the Salt Lake Gulls baseball club, too. P.S. You are welcome to suggest a topic for the next Fun Fact Friday. Just click the Comments link in the top right corner of this blog post. References (because I didn't just make this up): www.mrm.org/seagulls mentalfloss.com/article/29551/why-utah-loves-seagulls-not-crickets en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miracle_of_the_gulls holyfetch.com/the-miracle-of-the-seagulls/ www.mormonthink.com/glossary/seagullmiracle.htm onlinelibrary.utah.gov/research/utah_symbols/bird.html |
Meet the AuthorHi. I'm Geo the Seagull.
I'm the distinguished Park Host on South Jetty Beach at Bandon, Oregon, USA. I'm a firm believer in First Principles: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Your Lunch. Archives
August 2018
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