I feel like I'm getting into a rut here. With the help and encouragement of my merchandise associates. According to The Free Dictionary, a rut is a noun that usually means:
Given this context, here's our latest bumper sticker offering: At least I should be able to claw my way out of this rut tomorrow, when it's Fun Fact Friday. Unless I get a question about bumper stickers. Contribute your Fun Fact Friday question by clicking the Comments link at the top of this page.
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...which is a prime number, and that makes it one of my favorites. Here's another number for you—250. That's how many daily balancing act posts I have made through yesterday. Which makes today's post number 251—also a prime. Now for this week's Fun Fact Friday question, submitted by B.M. of Medford, Oregon: "I mean no offense, Geo, but all seagulls look the same to me. I see two kinds. They are either brownish gray or they are white and gray like you. Please tell us, do all humans look alike to you?" First of all, the darker colored gulls are our young ones. Those of us who survive to at least three or four years of age earn the more handsome outfit that I am wearing. As for what I see when I look at humans, let me first refer you to Fun Fact Friday #10, where I discuss my exceptional eyesight. That is one of the qualities that landed me the Park Host position at South Jetty Beach. I don't miss much. When it comes to humans, I'm not so good with names, but I remember faces and attitudes. I'm good at telling friend from foe. Mostly I keep my distance as far as humans are concerned. And if they don't keep their distance from me, I take a snapshot in my photographic memory as I dance away and take flight. So I will know them if I ever see them again. And please read this article from Bay Nature magazine for a more detailed answer to today's question, from a human's perspective. I've staked my claim and I'm sticking with it. There is no other seagull blog that can reasonably call itself Number One. My research team has scoured the world wide web in search of seagull blogs, and every last one of them fall short in the seagull department.
Other runners-up include...
My blog is the only one with a living, breathing, and squawking seagull as its author. This week's Fun Fact Friday breaks the chain of episodes on the topic of gull wing designs. That's because I have received a timely question from J.B. of Bandon, Oregon, who asks, "Geo, please tell me what these transparent oval things are that recently washed ashore near Face Rock. There are thousands of them. Some have a flap of blue. Others are totally clear. They are small and flat, and they are starting to smell bad. I was afraid to touch them.
Wouldn't it be a thrill to have Geo answer your question in a Fun Fact Friday blog post?
All you have to do is click Comment at the top of this page and submit your question. Don't forget to say, "Please." In case you are still confused about what exactly constitutes an internet meme, let's do what everybody else does and consult Wikipedia. Note the confusing reference to image macro, the topic of a separate Wikipedia article. Image macro memes usually take the form of a picture with words at the top and bottom, making a humorous or ironic statement that refers in some way to the image. The text is typically in the Impact font, all capitals, and white with a black outline. Highly conventional.
Here's this week's Fun Fact Friday question, contributed by D.D.E. of Abilene, Kansas: "A few days ago, you said someday you'd tell us about wartime heroics of seagulls. As a military history buff, this piqued my curiosity. Can today be that someday, and can you please tell us more, Geo?" First of all, D.D.E., thank you for actually reading every word of this past Tuesday's post, and I'm glad to make your day today. To broaden the topic slightly, I'll give you a few examples of how seagulls have made a contribution in wartime and peacetime defense, in today's world as well as in past world wars.
Wanna have Geo answer your question in the next Fun Fact Friday? Simply click the Comments link in the top right corner of today's post, and remember to say "please!"
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This week, I'm taking a question from C.A. of Grand Forks, North Dakota, who asks: "Geo, I remember an 80s techno-pop band called A Flock of Seagulls*. Please tell me if it is appropriate to call a gathering of seagulls a flock."
* The musical link is "I Ran (So Far Away)" from 1982. If you'd like to be the next person to have Geo answer your Fun Fact Friday question, click Comments in the top right corner of this page. Keep in mind that you must say "please" if you really expect Geo to answer your question. From Leesburg, Virginia, M.L. submits this question: "Geo, please tell me, why do you squawk so much?" The answer is: I squawk so much because I love the sound of my own voice. And you correctly observe that I do a lot of squawking. It's one of my favorite pastimes. I may squawk a lot, but I try hard not to curse. Oh, occasionally I might become really, really frustrated. That's when I've been heard to exclaim, "Gull darn it!"
Because I am bilingual, I refer to my native language as Squawklish. To communicate with you, I can write in English. But due to anatomical limitations, I can only speak in Squawklish. Sorry, no poem today. I'll squawk to you again tomorrow. If you'd like Geo to answer your Fun Fact Friday question, click Comments in the top right corner of this page.
You must say "please" if you really expect Geo to answer your question. The following act of creative image manipulation is not intended to treat, prevent, or cure any disease. It's the slideshow to end all slideshows! (Don't you wish...) An unparalleled immersive sensory experience beyond anything you could possibly imagine! A SPECTACULAR KEYBOARDS AND MICE SLIDESHOW ! Please let me know if you've managed to survive this visual barrage!
Or perhaps you're searching for content that's biodegradable—wooden Popsicle® sticks, for instance. Merely click "Sustainable," and there you go. Easy peasy! (Did I really say that? Please don't let it happen again!) Want to revisit one of my posts where I ranted and raved? Take your pick. They'll all be there when you click "Disgruntled." Conversely, you can catch me wearing a smiley face if you choose "Gruntled." Try "Malodorous" and you'll be exposed to the Internet equivalent of Smell-o-vision. Any given post can fit into multiple categories, too. For example, yesterday's post will be among the results whether you select "Commercial," "Exclusive," "Food," "Frivolous," "Hysterical," "Mental Melatonin," "Musical," or "Sustainable." I've decided it fits into all of those categories. And I am the King of This Blog. But that doesn't mean I don't accept input from my subjects. If you have a suggestion for a category that you think describes one of my blog posts, by all means click the Comments link that's next to About the Author, and submit your recommendation. The possibilities are endless. Literally. The Categories list seems to grow exponentially. By the way, you may find that some categories are currently dead-ends. That may mean they have been put there simply because they are impressive-sounding multi-syllabic words. Or it could be they are patiently lying in wait to attach themselves to some unsuspecting future post. How would you categorize this post? *Thanks for finding this asterisk. It's next to a hyperlink for those who want to learn more about tags.
It's here! The second Supermoon of the year happened early this morning, when the moon snuggled up to within 223,000 miles of the earth. Because it's the second full moon of the month, we can also call it a "Blue Moon" (The Marcels, 1961). But there's more! Starting just before 7:00 tomorrow morning (January 31) on the West Coast, the blue moon will turn blood red—the victim of a lunar eclipse. You can't beat that! Meanwhile, today turns out to be a good day to come in from outer space and acknowledge a few pioneers in the man-made universe known as cyberspace. Back in 1945, before the conception of digital computers, and thus almost 25 years before the Internet was born, Vannevar Bush envisioned a machine that could link documents together to mimic the way the brain stores, connects, and retrieves memories. Twenty years later, Ted Nelson elaborated on this concept in a 1965 article in which he coined the term hypertext to describe a nonlinear way of linking data. In 1989, Tim Berners-Lee spun Nelson's idea into today's World Wide Web. What makes all of this timely is that today (January 30) happens to be the birthday of the late Douglas Engelbart, a pioneer in the design of interactive computer environments. Among his achievements was the invention of the computer pointing device we now call a mouse, which he introduced along with hypertext and word processing nearly 50 years ago, in a presentation that came to be known as "The Mother of All Demos." Did you notice the hyperlinks in today's post? They're an invitation to explore and learn. They allow me to multiply my ability to share what interests me. For better or for worse. My apologies. I was so excited about starting my new job as Park Host yesterday that I failed to tell you about some of the many challenging responsibilities that come with my position. On top of that, my editor scolded me for neglecting to use numbered lists lately. So here's a numbered sampling of my Park Host duties:
Incidentally, my copy editor also doubles as audio/video editor, and he has enhanced the quality of the video snippet in this past Sunday's blog post. As usual, it's highly recommended that you follow every link you encounter here.
I said everything that needs to be said on Christmas Day. Now what? I went back to yesterday's post and listened to the link at the top. It inspired me to work on my James Brown dance moves out on the beach. But that didn't provide me with great material for today's post. I even dug into the blog archives to revisit my maiden post, just forty days ago. Brief and to the point, it was. I learned how to navigate in my vast, ever-expanding blog archives and find previous gems by re-reading my own highly educational post on the subject.
I tried my trusted trick of last resort, but when I took a deep dive into the nearest dumpster this morning, I came up empty. Nobody seems to be eating Popsicles this time of year. No Chinese take-out leftovers in there, either.
I see I am violating one of my cardinal (or seagull) rules of good writing: Avoid beginning sentences with I. Did I mention that each of the bold, underlined phrases above is a link to something I've posted previously? Did it occur to you there was a reason to follow those links? Just thought I'd ask. I like Christmas as much as any other gull. It just takes some time for me to really warm up to it. It goes without saying that I will eagerly anticipate Christmas morning, when I get to peck open the paper bags that goodhearted humans have left for me in the barrel by the restrooms. I know I'm going to find some goodies inside.
I've been kicking around some ideas for a new title for this blog, having discovered earlier this week that balancing act--or some variation on that name—has already been taken by a flock of other bloggers.
So I've been brainstorming new titles while scouring the picnic area for scraps. That's when I do some of my best thinking. One of the first potential names that crossed my mind was A blog about nothing. Of course, numerous Seinfeld wannabes have already grabbed that one. How about Everybody's Favorite Blog? Apparently nobody is willing to go that far—but I could see myself being the first. A web search shows there are recipes for "Everybody's Favorite White Chili," "Everybody's Favorite Meatballs," and "Everybody's Favorite Brownies." And articles about "Everybody's Favorite Shark," "Everybody's Favorite Beer Delivery Guy," and "Everybody's Favorite Economist." None of these is actually a blog title. They don't even sound very interesting. Seems like there could be room in cyberspace for Everybody's Favorite Seagull. And don't tell me Jonathan Livingston Seagull already claims that distinction. Maybe I'm just the gull to chase him off his lofty perch! Or I might just go with another name I've been considering: Gull Sheet. But I'm still open to your suggestions. Now then, what's for lunch? Stop the presses! Apparently in other parts of the world, hate and violence are being directed against my kind. No, I'm not referring to my fellow dorks. I mean gulls and kittiwakes and such. Members of the family Laridæ. There is a growing hate movement, especially in the United Kingdom, that is aggressively seeking to marginalize, ostracize, silence, intimidate, and ultimately—brace yourself—exterminate seagulls. Lest you conclude that I have dived off the deep end into a shallow tide pool of conspiracy theory, here's a short list of some of the worst offenders in the war against gulls:
Just look at these home page screenshots from the last two sites on this list: Ho ho ho? I don't think so!
Fortunately, a counter-movement has emerged in the UK to fight the unconscionable persecution of my dear innocent feathered cousins, who just want to coexist on the coast in harmony and snatch their fair share of the seashore's riches. And I commend you to the Seagulls Collective, based in St. Andrews, Scotland, and its wonderful, uplifting website: Seagulls Are Not Evil Because we're not! I've been reading a lot of those "helpful tips" web pages today. Like How To Turn Your Blog into a Cash Cow for Your Retirement and 17 Ways You Can Add 8 Eye-Catching Features to Attract Thousands of Repeat Readers Who Will Boost Your Blog into the Top 500 Rankings. The numbered lists made my head spin. In fact, that was one tip I kept reading—use numbered lists! And bullet points! And color! And Increase Traffic with Funny Cat Videos--who hasn't thought of that one? Anyway, my host doesn't give me enough bandwidth to run videos. But I do have room for a
Everyone is so sensitive these days. Here's some of what I posted a few blogs ago: I figured it was obvious that what I said wasn't meant to be taken literally. But already there are some readers out there who want to throw my words back in my face and shove them down my gull gullet.
Look. I self-identify as a Western Gull. That means I hang out along the Pacific Coast. And that makes me a Pacifist. You know—all talk, no action. I couldn't harm a sand flea. There's a "coexist" bumper sticker on my tail feathers. Guess I'll have to get the art department to Photoshop a peace symbol medal hanging around my neck in my official publicity photo. Or some of you out there could just try to chill out a little. Follow my example and take a dip in the scintillating Oregon coast surf. Bone-chillingly refreshing! |
Meet the AuthorHi. I'm Geo the Seagull.
I'm the distinguished Park Host on South Jetty Beach at Bandon, Oregon, USA. I'm a firm believer in First Principles: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Your Lunch. Archives
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