One of these things is not like the others... Of course you chose the correct answer—B for Bird Control. Since I live in a special part of the world where seagulls are admired, cherished, honored, and photographed in soft focus, I sometimes forget the harsh treatment and officially sanctioned cruelty and persecution that is everyday reality for seagulls in many disparate corners of the world. But my readers occasionally snap me out of my reverie by sending me links to hate-filled individuals and institutions that remind me there is still much work to be done to rid the planet of rampant anti-seagullism.
0 Comments
I've been scammed! Vannity Press, Inc. is a rip-off. They made me think I had something unique to offer, and they put a beautiful flattering cover on my book. But it turned out to be a copy of somebody else's book cover. Now nobody wants to sell my book because they fear a lawsuit. I would be so humiliated if I were capable of that sentiment. Instead, I am incredibly peeved. And I'm beginning to think this is another instance of seagull hate. Yes, I'm pretty confident that I have been set up, taken advantage of, and made to look bad because of what I am. I'm going to talk to my lawyer. Anyway, see for yourself... Even though I haven't devoted much of this space to seagull activism recently, that doesn't mean I'm not active behind the scenes. I belong to a worldwide network of like-minded bird-brains, and I have recently received some top-secret messages from secret friends of mine in the resistance. Quietly, without fanfare, these brave heroes are protesting the global persecution of poor, starving, innocent seagulls. And they have shared some before-and-after photos of their handiwork, which I, in turn, will share with you now. You have no idea how it warms my soul—and my stomach—to see how my compatriots are fighting injustice wherever they find it. I can't wait for their next top-secret messages.
For more background on what we're battling, click Hate Update in the Categories list in the sidebar. Power to the Seagulls! ![]()
The brainiacs at the Environmental Protection Agency have decided that seagull droppings constitute a form of toxic waste that imperils humans.
Hope you are following the links, so I don't have to provide all the gory details of these seagull hate stories.
And please join me for a change of pace tomorrow, when it's Fun Fact Friday! So now it's not enough for humans to claim that seagulls are making them sick by recycling some infectious medical waste we inadvertently ingest at refuse disposal sites.
In my opinion, the researchers who concocted this theory were looking for a justification for their multi-million dollar grant-funded boondoggle.
As for me, I'm going to go on pooping wherever I please. This is the kind of thing that turns a decent, law-abiding gull into an activist-- As reported here on the first and the fifth of this month, I have found myself the victim of seagull hate crimes. And of all places, it happened right here on the beach at Bandon. Being on the receiving end of persecution has motivated me to dive back into the turbulent waters of worldwide seagull hate and offer you some evidence of the pervasive prejudice that is now on the rise on America's own shores.
|
Meet the AuthorHi. I'm Geo the Seagull.
I'm the distinguished Park Host on South Jetty Beach at Bandon, Oregon, USA. I'm a firm believer in First Principles: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Your Lunch. Archives
August 2018
Categories
All
|