Here's what seems to be a cryptic clothing tag. Like a lot of good stuff, I found it in the trash recently. At first I thought it might have come out of a fortune cookie, but then I looked more closely. Could it be some type of top-secret confidential communication, merely disguised as a clothing tag? Please click the Comments link on this page and write a short note if you can shed any light on the meaning of these words: First of all, a "phoebe" is a real word (pronounced FEE-bee) that either means a personification of the moon or a cute little bird that eats flies. But which of these two is being launched? As for those two circled words, I have searched widely on the World Wide Web, but I've come up empty. No references to be found anywhere for "remindint" or "isdation." I might just add them to my spell checker and randomly insert them in a future blog post, just to see if anyone notices. Trying to come up with information about "isdation," I did find an enchanting 1964 Duke Ellington recording of "Isfahan," which later became a movement in his "Far East Suite." It's a musical impression of what is now Iran's third largest city. But Isfahan was once the capital of the Persian Empire and is still considered one of the world's most beautiful cities. Spanning the globe to confuse and amuse you with words—it's balancing act!
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I feel like I'm getting into a rut here. With the help and encouragement of my merchandise associates. According to The Free Dictionary, a rut is a noun that usually means:
Given this context, here's our latest bumper sticker offering: At least I should be able to claw my way out of this rut tomorrow, when it's Fun Fact Friday. Unless I get a question about bumper stickers. Contribute your Fun Fact Friday question by clicking the Comments link at the top of this page. Yesterday's post proved inspirational. Go figure. My marketing and merchandising crew loved the idea of bumper stickers based on obscure references so much that they have launched a new business... Obscure References Bumper Stickers LLC (ORBS) They will turn your ideas into personalized bumper stickers. Click the Comments link above and submit your obscure reference. Be sure to provide contact information. Just when I thought I had mastered the English language, I had a little problem with my website and sought help from an online tech support chat. I had to practically stand on my head to figure out what was being said. Here's an example: Unlike others might, I didn't just come away from this experience exasperated and disillusioned. I didn't just run to Yelp® and post a negative review. No such thing. I became motivated. I'm not narrow-minded. Maybe small-minded, but open-minded nonetheless. I'm inquisitive, and I want to learn new things, to try new things. I try to be positive, creative, even groundbreaking. And I figured if Babitha could so easily mangle the language, so could I. And maybe even more successfully. All I needed was the right tool. So I took yesterday's blog post and tossed it into a word blender, which is similar to a word processor. I think it's a joint project of Microsoft® and Cuisinart®. I simply clicked the Pulse button intermittently for 30 seconds. Here's the result: Well, it's only a beta version. I think I'd better have a frank discussion with my merchandising wizards. They are coming up with some wacky ideas for Geo swag, and in the process they may be setting me up for a trademark infringement lawsuit. I know I've been heaping praise on my merchandising crew. Until now. But somebody's going to have to explain this new bumper sticker to me. For one thing, I can't figure out if that gull is coming or going or rising or falling. It appears to be in the middle of doing a mid-air flip. I can't quite connect the words to the picture, either. It's not just me, is it? I'd say it's a dud. Maybe if it said "seagulls are so scintillating" or "special" or "spectacular" or even "snarky." But...sustainable? Check it out! My merchandising specialists have another trio of potential Golden Geo souvenir items for your approval. Soon we may have enough products to open my very own online store! Feedback has been overwhelming so far. What do you think? What's your favorite? Any suggestions for additional Geo gear? Just click the Comments link above and chime in. I'm thinking of putting my golden name on a variety of merchandise, because I want my blog readers, YouTube fans, and folks who come to see me at work to have something to remember me by. My webbed editor, who serves as my promotions director, my design consultant, my merchandising manager, and my alter ego, has created a handful of prototype items bearing my name in gold. Here's a preview of what may soon be available in the Geo Store. Please use the Comments link above to let me know what you think of these items. Disclaimer: We were not able to afford real gold for these mock-up versions, but who knows what we might be able to do for the right price... P.S. Somehow my phone read yesterday's post. I just got an ad for gas detectors. So it's the day after the demise of the Seagull News Network (the network formerly known as SEANN). To avoid depression, I must quickly redirect my creative, entrepreneurial energy. Fortunately, my anchor, my beet reporter, and my cameraman were not yet under contract. So we're all free to go our separate ways.
I've done it again!
I've just hatched another life-changing plan. Sparks have been flying inside my seagull skull. My world-renowned entrepreneurial spirit is on the move, and I'm about to launch my latest venture: an all-news channel. I've been studying niche-market broadcasting, and I believe I've found an overlooked and underserved population. It's going to be the first all-news channel that's strictly for the birds. I'm calling it SEA-NN—The Seagull News Network. You have to enunciate each letter, to avoid pronouncing it the same as that other news channel. That's why I've brought in my friend the volunteer professional radio announcer to voice the SEA-NN sounder. Unlike that other channel, I can't afford James Earl Jones. So I've settled for a reasonable facsimile. Just click or tap the SEA-NN logo below, and you'll hear what I'm talking about. If the voice you hear seems to be saying "yanni" or "laurel," there's either something wrong with your equipment or you need to make an appointment with the nearest otolaryngologist. This is one corner of the internet where we don't care if you think it's "yanni" or "laurel." In fact, I won't even tell you which one it sounds like to me. But I do care about your opinion of the Lousy Music on Hold sample messages I offered for your evaluation a couple of days ago. I'm still accepting your votes. It's strictly anonymous, unless you wish to have a name associated with your selection. And I haven't figured out a way to limit the number of times you can vote.
In the competition for favorite voice, it's a real dogfight at the moment, so every vote counts. Some readers have also chosen to include comments with their votes, which I encourage. However, I was puzzled by those who remarked that some of the music is really annoying. That was the whole idea! The music is intentionally annoying. Hence the name of my latest brainchild—Lousy Music on Hold. Maybe they meant their comments to be taken as compliments. Wear a smile wherever you go. Wear a smile, even if it’s a size too big. Wear a smile. It'll brighten someone's day. But I’m a seagull. You can’t tell by looking at me whether I’m smiling or frowning, whether I'm happy or sad.
*This musical link is to "Happy Talk," performed by Juanita Hall from the original 1958 motion picture soundtrack recording of the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical South Pacific.
What's a Regular Boar? I assume it's a more interesting creature than a Regular Bore. And what would be the opposite of a Regular Boar? An Irregular Boar? A Premium Boar? When the Regular Boars get together, what's on the agenda?
Wouldn't you like to be a fly on the wall at a Regular Boar meeting*? Bet you'd have a lot of company... *The Limelighters perform today's musical link—"There's a Meetin' Here Tonight," from 1961.
I'm highly skilled at grabbing a bag and getting away with it. But I'm not the only one, as you can see in this video from my ancestral homeland.
"Oh Geo! You just think you're so smart!" I have been hearing the same thing for years and years. And now I hear it even more since I started this blog. Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. I've always taken this as a compliment. And why not? What good would it do me to go around thinking I'm stupid, when I know I'm not. So I just reply, "Thanks for noticing." And you've probably noticed my blog's subtitle, "The Blog of a Bird-Brain." Now, that wasn't exactly what I originally had in mind. It should have read "The Blog of a Brainy Bird." I think my webbed editor was doing a little editorializing there, even though he claimed it was an honest mistake caused by his alleged dyslexia. What he really means is, he honestly sees me as a bird-brain. But I still take it as a compliment.
Yes, it is the official first day of spring, which doesn't mean that much in parts of the Midwest and Northeast, where winter weather persists. Be that as it may, I've been looking for any excuse for giving away free stuff. So in honor of the Vernal Equinox, and because a lot of you seemed to like the way I looked in green on Bandon Day, balancing act is giving away... R.L. of Port St. Lucie, Florida, has observed that I spend a lot of my waking hours on or above the beach at Bandon, Oregon. And he wonders where I go when I need to sleep.
I can't answer that question directly, because it's a trade secret. There is a non-disclosure agreement involved. Protecting the safety and sanity of an entire colony of gulls requires me to stay silent on this subject. But I can speak in general terms. Seagulls usually sleep where they have strength in numbers. Some of the gulls that you see gathered in a parking lot, along a shoreline, on an offshore island, or on a rooftop may actually be asleep. They are comfortable sleeping there because they are surrounded by the security of friends and neighbors who will awaken them if a predator should approach. Here are a few photographic clues as to where I might feel relaxed enough to catch a few Zs: (* M.A.R.G.A.) In an attempt to unify the country in total disgust, balancing act presents... ANOTHER POPSICLE® STICK RIDDLE SLIDESHOW GEO'S GREATEST POPSICLE® STICK RIDDLES SLIDESHOW |
Meet the AuthorHi. I'm Geo the Seagull.
I'm the distinguished Park Host on South Jetty Beach at Bandon, Oregon, USA. I'm a firm believer in First Principles: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Your Lunch. Archives
August 2018
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