This week, G.M. of Liberty, Maine, asks: "Geo, can you please let us hear more from your musician friends, the Four Rs?" Let's hear it for the Mainers! That makes two straight weeks of questions from Down East. You Mainiacs are the best! It's understandable that everyone from Down East to the Far West wants to hear more from the Four Rs. These players are noted for their versatility and their audacity. They are unbelievable in every sense of the word. Our microphones were able to capture the Four Rs in a recent warmup session. The resulting track is called "Babbly Bop Jam." It's a tour de force that shows off their instrumental virtuosity and imagination. So click the link below, slip into your earbuds, kick back, close your eyes, and enjoy the Four Rs—Rusty, Rock, Rudy, and Rip—in full-spectrum stereophonic splendor. ![]()
Fun Fact Fridays are just for you, the balancing act reader. Click the Comments link above to submit your question on any subject for Geo. Always say please, please.
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In recent posts, I have shared my very personal story of learning the English language by way of product labels on food packages that attracted my hungry attention in garbage cans, landfills, etc. Among my favorite sentences that I learned early through my studies of product packaging language—a sentence I have found difficult to use in this blog or other forms of communication—is this one: "Contents may have settled during shipping." I remain hopeful that one day I will learn just what is meant by that sentence, and then maybe I will find an appropriate time to put it to use. Some especially instructive labels do not necessarily appear on food or beverage containers, however. That is something I learned the hard way when I naïvely took a swig of Dr. Bronner's 18-in-1 Peppermint Soap®. That stuff is not only NOT food, but it actually caused a burning bubble bath to form inside of me.
Don't be surprised if some of the timeless wisdom expressed on the Dr. Bronner's Soap® bottle appears on future Golden Geo gear. Or in my poetry. Or in future blog posts exploring seagull spirituality. Like this: "Small minds decay! Average minds delay! Great minds teach All-One today!" I love the strategic use of exclamation points! I'm All-In! And I invite you to read and learn! This week's question comes from T.J. of Shadwell, Virginia, who asks: "Please tell us, Geo, since English is not your native language, how did you learn to write so beautifully?" T.J., you flatter me. And I deserve it. Ever since I first poked around in the nearest trash can, I have found tasty morsels of food in boxes or bags or bottles or cans that have markings known as words on them. At an early age, I became fascinated with the meaning of those words. Humans underestimate the mental prowess we seagulls possess. We can learn and we can retain and apply what we learn. Over time, I have developed a massive English vocabulary, and not only can I spell every word correctly, I can use every word correctly. And I can recognize misspelled words and incorrectly used words and phrases. I daresay I am at least as good with my English as most of you are with yours. And I haven't given up on getting my writings printed by a reputable publishing company. Here's an example of the educational material I encounter in the garbage every day: If it has to do with food, I learn even faster. And, incidentally, I always do say thank you for the food, just as I always ask for more. Maybe it's time for you to ask Geo a question he can respond to in next week's Fun Fact Friday episode. Just click the Comments link above. Be sure to say "please." ![]()
It would be presumptuous of me to speak for all seagulls. So of course I will do just that. We seagulls salute human Americans on your Independence Day. But we'd like to point out that we seagulls declared our own independence—from the rest of the animal kingdom—some 30 million years ago. So every day is like Independence Day to us. Let's see how much you know about your Independence Day. Which of the following phrases or sentences begins your Declaration of Independence? I won't keep you in suspense...this time.
Either you were able to read the fine print, or you clicked or tapped on the photo of the Declaration to enlarge it, or you knew the correct answer, or you randomly guessed #2. By whatever means you selected #2, you arrived at the correct answer. I hope you were among those who were already familiar with the words of your Declaration and the history and timeless principles behind them. But it is a good day to reacquaint yourself with what the 4th of July is really about. Incidentally, the Declaration was actually agreed upon by the Founders on July 2, 1776, but not announced publicly until July 4. And the final signatures were added by August 8. Look in my blog archives for Fun Fact Friday #7. You'll find a feature on one of the 56 signers, who signed his name Geo Taylor. I kid you not. Finally, my own little town of Bandon, Oregon celebrates Independence Day with a parade; a farmers and artisans market with live music and face painting; a family fun day in City Park with barbecue, a bounce house, and more live music; the Port of Bandon's fourth annual Cardboard Boat Regatta; Circles in the Sand beach labyrinths below Face Rock Viewpoint; apple pie and ice cream; fire dancers and fireworks by the waterfront; and the monthly Alive After Five art and wine walk. And I'll be busy all day as Park Host at South Jetty Beach. So please count me in for your leftovers.
I've checked the analytics. I've counted up the hits. I'm the rankest of the ranked. I've made it to the top! It's official—balancing act is now... It helps to be sui generis, you know.
As far as I know, I am the only seagull currently publishing poetry online. There are lots of humans who have posted putrid poetry about seagulls from their narrow humanistic points of view. It makes me sick to my stomach, and as you know, virtually nothing I consume can do that to me. This stuff that passes for poetry about seagulls, and the sand, and the sea—it's awful, appalling, androcentric, aggravating, and annoying. And I will not despoil my own blog by linking to any of it. You can do your own search and see what I mean. Then again, if you'll toss me a few of your French fries, I could be persuaded to change my mind. Meanwhile, stick around and enjoy some real seagull poetry. Read and listen: ![]()
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One of these days, there will be a new topic for a Fun Fact Friday episode, and Geo might even lower his standards and pick your question as that topic. So keep trying. Just click the Comments link at the top of this page and submit your question. As always, remember to say, "Please." On Memorial Day weekend, as part of the Harbor Festival in Kitsap County, Washington, the city of Port Orchard hosts its annual "World Famous" Seagull Calling Contest. A few dozen spectators gather each year at Waterfront Park along Sinclair Inlet to watch children and occasional dogs and adults who attempt to coax seagulls onshore with reasonable and unreasonable facsimiles of seagull squeaks and squawks or with fistfuls of breadcrumbs and such.
Apparently someone enjoys this event, because today's Seagull Calling Contest is the 30th annual, which means the very first one happened before I was born, and they haven't given up on it yet. I've personally been waiting every year to get a call from someone in Port Orchard, but I've yet to hear from anyone. Unless it was that weird anonymous screeching voice mail message I got a few weeks ago. Here in Bandon, Oregon, I suppose we just experienced our own version of seagull calling, earlier today. There was a nice-looking couple who drove into the South Jetty Beach parking lot a short time ago. They rolled down their windows and beckoned to all the assembled gulls, and we all flew, hopped, or waddled closer, anticipating popcorn, crackers, French fries, maybe even chicken nuggets. This nice-looking couple in their shiny new SUV rolled down their windows and tossed out generous handfuls of...… BIRDSEED!?!? Can you imagine the hurt, the frustration, the disappointment, the outright shock and dismay we felt? I think some of the contestants at Port Orchard even throw chocolates to lure the seagulls there. They at least know better than to toss birdseed at seagulls. There's a home video below from several years ago that captures some of flavor of this event. You really don't need to watch more than a minute or two to get the idea. The large bird-like costumed human in the video goes by the name Seemore Seagull. This festival also features a Seagull Wings Cook-off competition, where contestants don't really cook the wings of seagulls. And there's something they call the Seagull Splat 5K Run/Walk, where you're advise to avoid the seagull splat along the way. Does this sound like fun to you? It's happening today and tomorrow in Port Orchard, across the way from Bremerton, about 50 miles west of Seattle by ferry (as a seagull flies, you'd have to add a few more miles).
This week, I'm answering a question sent to me from Powell, Wyoming, by L.C., who asks, "Please, Geo, tell me how do you quench your thirst when you only have salt water all around you?" The simple answer, L.C., is that I drink it.
If you get close enough to me to see something wet trickling down my beak, chances are I'm not suffering from a head cold. I'm just expelling an excess saline solution, and in the process I may shake and snort as if sneezing. This time of year, our abundant Oregon Coast rainfall provides plenty of puddles and streams with fine salt-free water for seagulls to dip our beaks in and take a bath. But we're equally at home miles away from shore, splashing and sipping in the great Pacific Ocean waters. You can learn more about seagull drinking habits here and here, along with formal research documents here, and an elegantly simple illustration here. To submit your potential Fun Fact Friday question for Geo, just click on the Comments link in the top right corner of this post. Be sure to say "please" when you ask Geo to answer your question.
Washington was keenly aware of preserving and protecting the natural rights that he and his fellow revolutionaries had fought for. “If freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter,” he observed.
Washington was a believer in universal truths and timeless principles. And he was sensitive to humanity's imperfections, saying, "When one side only of a story is heard and often repeated, the human mind becomes impressed with it insensibly." That was true in the 18th century, and it's even more true today. The organization that maintains Washington's Mount Vernon, Virginia estate provides a wealth of information about our first president and his heritage on its website. Biography.com offers a good overview of Washington's life, as does its partner, the History Channel, where you'll find this note that counters some of the current mythology: "At the time of his death in 1799, George Washington owned some 300 slaves. However, before his passing, he had become opposed to slavery, and in his will he ordered that his slaves [were] to be freed after his wife's death." America's founders were as imperfect as the rest of us, yet probably more honorable than a lot of us. Sure. Your wall calendar says it's Presidents Day. The calendar app on your smartphone calls it Presidents' Day. The official federal government name for this holiday is Washington's Birthday. Except...George Washington wasn't born on February 19. No American president was born on this date. But the Uniform Holiday Act, which took effect in 1971, shifted Washington's Birthday, along with a number of other holidays, onto Mondays, to create popular three-day weekends. Because the new Washington's Birthday holiday eliminated the Lincoln's Birthday observances in many states, the third Monday every February has become widely accepted as an occasion to honor both Washington and Lincoln, and perhaps any and all of the other presidents. And a ski holiday for government workers and teachers. I prefer to honor George on George's own birthday, and Abraham on his own day, and President Reagan on his February 6th birthday. And today? For me, it's just another day at the beach.
I've had this idea kicking around in my brain for a while, and it's beginning to bruise my skull. So I'm going to spit it out. Seagulls are known for doing that from time to time.
I'm thinking of doing TV. I mean doing my own TV show. Maybe put it on Netflix. I'm still deciding on whether it will be a reality show or a sitcom, or maybe action/adventure. Then again, a food show sounds appealing about now. I wouldn't be the celebrity chef, though. I don't cook, but I'm an exceptionally good eater. So I would be the critic who gets to sample what the cook prepares. And if I don't like the food, I get to say, "You're fired, chef!" Pretty original, huh? Or I could do a serial. Or maybe just do cereal. As you can see, my show is only in the preliminary planning phase. But I do have a name for it-- "Everybody Loves Geo!" And I already have a theme song and a potential sponsor. Here's the lyrics. I dare you to click the link and sing along! ![]()
I cannot begin to tell you how many people have submitted questions here at my blog. So I won't One common question has been "Why are you doing this?" My response is: Why not? However, that is not the kind of question I prefer to answer by way of a Fun Fact Friday post. But this one is. It comes from VP, a fan from McKinleyville, California, who wonders how seagulls are able to swallow large objects whole—as in the picture below.
Furthermore, I have the added benefit of an unhinged jaw, which gives me a highly adjustable mouth opening that's suitable for almost anything I might consider to be food. Which is almost anything. By the way, I have already anticipated how your thought process has associated me with the word "unhinged." Let me just say that you aren't having an original thought. P.S. Now you can read or revisit previous Fun Fact Friday posts by clicking or tapping the Fun Fact Friday link in the Categories list in the sidebar to the right.
I can't stay away from the beach, even on my day off. Yesterday I got off my Park Host perch and took a break from my duties. And I flew off to the north... ...to another beach! I spent the afternoon enjoying the scene at Bullards Beach, just across the river from my home turf. And a perfect afternoon it was! A light breeze. Some sun, some clouds. Tide rolling in. And out. And in.
Every size and shape of driftwood has washed ashore at Bullards, and heavy surfs have pushed some of it over the dunes, so it now covers most of the the parking lot, as well. Just take a look at this amazing maze of roots. ↓ Big globs of sea foam also washed ashore at Bullards. Have you ever noticed how things look different from a distance? For instance, you could generalize that this section of the seashore has darker sand than the rest of the beach. Look for yourself: But a closer look reveals a field of rocks of varied colors and sizes: Bend down closer, and you can see the rich variety that appears to be sameness from farther away:
For just a moment, I need to step back from current events to deal with something of an ongoing nature. You may recall that in spite of my being just a lovable, shy, unassuming but unflappable, live-and-let-live kinda gull, I became the focal point of some controversy last month when I attempted to occupy an unclaimed corner of the blogosphere with a post that featured an unconventional special attraction, my exclusive FREAKY CAT SLIDESHOW. Instead of generating the anticipated mountains of praise and howls of laughter, my masterful photographic exhibition was met with scowls of derision, hateful counter-posts, and calls for censure. Fortunately, I have been able to keep the metaphorical jackals at bay with threats of litigation, and my FREAKY CAT SLIDESHOW hasn't been taken down yet. However, I have become aware that my blog may be a victim of shadow banning. Maybe even seagull shaming. So please let me know if you are able to read this post, and if you can successfully follow the links that take you to my original FREAKY CAT SLIDESHOW. Meanwhile, I dare anyone anywhere to take offense at my latest creation... THE WORLD'S FIRST AND ONLY KNOWN FREAKY ELECTRICAL OUTLET AND POWER CORD SLIDESHOW It's a work of art, if I do say so myself. Don't you agree?
Up next, the world's first Freaky Clock Face Slideshow. Watch this space. Thanks to everyone for the great feedback on Fun Fact Friday #1. Some of you expressed concern that I might be worried about my own life expectancy. What, me worry? Some of you also offered words of encouragement, like Spock's Vulcan salute—"Live Long and Prosper." I have my own versions... But I was puzzled by these words of encouragement: But I'm not troubled by having a relatively short lifespan. It really does have its advantages.
For instance, it's tough for anyone to accuse me of something illegal, immoral, or indefensible that I might have committed 20 or 30 years ago, because I wasn't even born yet! So I say, "Live like there's no tomorrow!" Hey, this is only a test anyway. (The Grass Roots, 1967) It's a free country and I love it! Watch this space for free speech and free advice. ![]()
I like Christmas as much as any other gull. It just takes some time for me to really warm up to it. It goes without saying that I will eagerly anticipate Christmas morning, when I get to peck open the paper bags that goodhearted humans have left for me in the barrel by the restrooms. I know I'm going to find some goodies inside.
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Meet the AuthorHi. I'm Geo the Seagull.
I'm the distinguished Park Host on South Jetty Beach at Bandon, Oregon, USA. I'm a firm believer in First Principles: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Your Lunch. Archives
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