From D.B. in Redway, California comes this question: "Geo, I read somewhere online that seagull flatulence is a major cause of global warming. Please tell me, can this be true?" Well, D.B., you must not believe everything you read on the internet (including this blog). Besides, there is disagreement among humans as to whether or not seagulls do emit gas. Nobody seems to know for sure, because we gulls are so discreet about it (discrete, too). And I am unwilling to clear the air by saying one way or the other. Nonetheless, some humans are incapable of appreciating the spirit of generosity behind our sharing of sacrificial excrement. As evidence, I link you to this hate-filled poem. Talk about someone who needs a cold shower! So there. That was easy. Remember to say "please" when you click the Comments link above and submit your question that could either be answered or avoided by Geo in next week's Fun Fact Friday.
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I'm the victim of a leak. I have no idea who the leaker was. But it's not worth appointing a special counsel or turning the matter over to an inspector general. It is what it is. I just feel like my personal Earth-shattering major announcement bubble has been deflated. No chance for a twenty-trumpet fanfare now. But most of you have been unaware that I've released my first YouTube video. Until now. I owe a special thank-you to the cameraman who was recruited to join my seagull news channel that never got of the ground. It turned out he also is a highly-skilled video editor, and I hired him back to help produce my first video.
I'm glad you like it. Of course you do. ![]()
It would be presumptuous of me to speak for all seagulls. So of course I will do just that. We seagulls salute human Americans on your Independence Day. But we'd like to point out that we seagulls declared our own independence—from the rest of the animal kingdom—some 30 million years ago. So every day is like Independence Day to us. Let's see how much you know about your Independence Day. Which of the following phrases or sentences begins your Declaration of Independence? I won't keep you in suspense...this time.
Either you were able to read the fine print, or you clicked or tapped on the photo of the Declaration to enlarge it, or you knew the correct answer, or you randomly guessed #2. By whatever means you selected #2, you arrived at the correct answer. I hope you were among those who were already familiar with the words of your Declaration and the history and timeless principles behind them. But it is a good day to reacquaint yourself with what the 4th of July is really about. Incidentally, the Declaration was actually agreed upon by the Founders on July 2, 1776, but not announced publicly until July 4. And the final signatures were added by August 8. Look in my blog archives for Fun Fact Friday #7. You'll find a feature on one of the 56 signers, who signed his name Geo Taylor. I kid you not. Finally, my own little town of Bandon, Oregon celebrates Independence Day with a parade; a farmers and artisans market with live music and face painting; a family fun day in City Park with barbecue, a bounce house, and more live music; the Port of Bandon's fourth annual Cardboard Boat Regatta; Circles in the Sand beach labyrinths below Face Rock Viewpoint; apple pie and ice cream; fire dancers and fireworks by the waterfront; and the monthly Alive After Five art and wine walk. And I'll be busy all day as Park Host at South Jetty Beach. So please count me in for your leftovers.
So far, we've encountered gull wing designs in aeronautics, architecture, and in the automotive industry. Now we find that the term "gull wing" has shown up in the realm of interior decorating. That is, it has become a descriptor of color. Except everyone seems to see a different color when they think of gull wings. I'd say the prize for accuracy goes to the paint maker Benjamin Moore®.
Mohawk® flooring's Gull Wing carpet color comes in a reasonable second. But I have yet to see a gull whose wings match the other two carpet samples below—one from Lowe's® and one from The Home Depot®. The Stainmaster® carpet even looks like it comes pre-stained. Or is that spot in the middle actually a cigarette burn? And what about the remaining scrap. It looks more like the color of sand. But at $2.25/square foot, it could be your best buy for a rental unit. Just sayin'. See for yourself: Does anyone here actually turn a physical calendar page anymore? Swipe to the left and it's July. In Canada, the first of July is—can you believe this?—Canada Day! Eh? It's a national holiday that marks the date in 1867 on which the British colonies of Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, and Canada officially joined to form the Dominion of Canada. In 1903 on July 1, the first Tour de France cycling race got underway. The course covered over 1,500 miles, from Paris to Lyon, to Marseille, to Toulouse, to Bordeaux, to Nantes, and back to Paris. Nineteen days later, the winning racer, Maurice Garin, finished nearly three hours before the second-place cyclist. He took his prize money, bought a gas station, and worked there the rest of his life.
It was a period of optimism and futuristic imagination, and 25 years later it inspired a popular song by Steely Dan co-founder Donald Fagen (musical link).
Happy July Fools Day! |
Meet the AuthorHi. I'm Geo the Seagull.
I'm the distinguished Park Host on South Jetty Beach at Bandon, Oregon, USA. I'm a firm believer in First Principles: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Your Lunch. Archives
August 2018
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